"Friday" Five: Self-Authored Poems

Poetry has been my writing form of choice since before I even knew I liked to write. I wrote poetry way back in middle school, when I was convinced I wanted to be a computer programmer like my mom. As in most things with me my poetic muse has waxed and waned in phases, but I keep coming back to it, and for that I am glad. I thought I’d entertain with a few poems I’ve written since beginning college, and because this has really been more of a waning period there are really only about five, which I thought to be a perfect fit.
My poetry is constantly evolving, just about every time I read it I change something. I even changed some things while copying them into this post. I’m not sure why that is, but sometimes some words just work better for me. It’s probably a mood thing.
If you like my writing, you should look into the man who has inspired my current style, Billy Collins.

1) Prophets

I hold on to the thought of you
like an anxious Noah held on to the olive branch
waiting for his roaming doves to fly home.

I remember our time together like Moses
unsure if the flaming bush he thought he saw
was real.

They must have wanted to tell the world what they knew
but were doubtful, scared that it was all a dream,
all false hope.

God is lucky I’m not one of his chosen prophets
because if I had been Moses
I probably would have chalked it up to the heat
and someone who had never heard of Smokey the Bear.

2) On Losing a Notebook

It is depressing indeed
for a notebook to be left behind:
abandoned, unfinished,
with many blank pages on which could have lived
a thousand new poems, ideas,
or maybe just directions to the eyeglasses store.

If found, would anyone care enough to mail it back
to the neatly scripted address inside the front cover?
Would they leave it, unconcerned with its value?
Or would they read it,
and discover the writer’s most intimate thoughts
and most unpolished ideas?

I should hope mine will be returned to me,
but I wouldn’t mind so much
if someone read it first.

3) A Scrape

My heart hurts
when I think of you.
It’s not a big hurt —
not fatal like a stab wound or anything —
it’s just a little hurt,
like my heart fell down and scraped its knee.

And in reality, the hurt is more like
when I look up from my bloodied skin and
see empty space,
realizing you’re not there,
hand extended,
waiting to pick me back up again.

4) On Completion

How pathetic it is
to believe something complete;
how self-centered and arrogant!
halting a work of your mind,
which itself is constantly evolving,
and stop any further development.

Do you believe yourself better than even God,
who gifted his creations
with the ability to adapt and transform?
This God did for the birds;
are you so great your trivial poem
does not command the same luxury?

5) A Benediction

May this journal be filled
with all of your greatest ideas
that may someday change the world,
with your most private thoughts
you hope will never see the light of day,
and with every mundane,
trivial detail in between.

May this journal be your refuge
from judgement and cruelty,
from heartache and pain,
and from whatever petty insult saddens your soul.

Let these pages be a silent voice
for every thought you’re glad you didn’t say
and those you wish you had.

I hope these pages echo your mind
and when you listen to their reverberation,
I hope it helps you discover yourself.

14 thoughts on “"Friday" Five: Self-Authored Poems

  1. Haha, it couldn't hurt! It's kinda unorthodox though so it might take a bit of explaining, so if you don't mind bearing with me… He and I met this summer and hit it off, but I was dating someone else and so nothing really happened until Septemberish, after I broke up with the other guy. We had what you could call a fling before realizing that we both had too much baggage to pull it off at that time. Of course, because I couldn't have him I developed a huge crush on him, which is when I wrote this poem.Interestingly enough, we got back in touch in mid-March and have been doing pretty well ever since 🙂

  2. Well congratulations! I hope everything goes well with this guy! This coming from a girl who's had her share of not-so-great ones… But I'm not gonna be a Negative Nancy, hahaha. It's nice to know there's at least some hope for the future, you know, even if I only see it in other people's happiness right now. 🙂

  3. Hey, no worries, guys are tough. The guy I broke up with right before the guy these poems are about cheated on me three times (or rather, multiple times with three different girls) and I stayed with him for three years because I convinced myself each time that it wasn't that bad, that it would be the last time, that he needed me. So… live and learn, I guess!

  4. Oh my god. You and I have been through super similar circumstances. My ex-boyfriend went away to college a year ahead of me and I wasn't worried at all; he called me every night and told me how glad he was that I was his girlfriend, how much he loved me, etc. Then I later found out from this girl who was supposed to just be his "friend" (according to him, anyways) that they'd been sleeping together pretty much since the start of fall semester and that it was more than just a physical relationship to boot…they were dating and acting like a couple behind my back. So I confronted him and broke up with him. But to be honest, even now I'm still in love with him despite what he did. He was my best friend for years and I miss the times we once had…So did those three other girls know that you were his girlfriend? I don't think the girl in my case knew she was the other woman, so I guess I can't blame her for what happened…They say it's better to have loved and lost. I've lost, he's with this other girl now and they seem happy together. He and I have been trying to keep on good terms and be friends, but I still can't help how much I love him and would take him back even now. My head says no but my heart says yes. Luckily, he probably won't ever ask. I'm just a friend now. Gahhh sorry, guess I'm taking advantage of the anonymity of this setting and venting! I just hope someday I'm in your shoes–completely and totally over him. 😥

  5. What was the final straw for you in deciding to break ties? I'm so torn because I know he still cares about me, but it's more of a friendship/family kind of love than romantic love. So I feel bad about the impulse to try and resent him for not feeling the same, because hey, at least he was honest with me instead of lying to protect my feelings. It sounds like your relationship was a crazy roller coaster ride a lot of the time (if you don't mind me saying), so what was it that made you decide to finally break up with him?I understand if you can't answer some of this…but why would he want to leave nasty comments on your blog? What a jerk. I say if he tries it again, just do what you did before. :]

  6. Also, how do you keep from constantly thinking about your ex and comparing other people to him? I can't keep him from my mind no matter how hard I seem to try, and I hate it because I feel so weak.

  7. Ok, well, screw it. If he reads this then maybe he'll get the closure he's been looking for. The final straw was definitely the fact that I kissed the poem guy, then called my ex and asked for a break, and he got pissed off. And then I was thinking about cutting it off with him and talked to a lot of my good friends about it and one of them told him and from what I gather he was upset because I didn't come to him first. Which just seemed ridiculous to me, because I had given him several of breaks in the past over girls that he'd already done more than kissing with. Before that, it was really tough, and I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. You're never going to stop comparing the guys you've dated to each other, especially not ones that you've loved, but it's important to take each new date as an individual and not let your baggage get in the way — I once used that excuse about a failed relationship to my older cousin and he told me it was complete bullshit, and he's right. That's what made me break up with him. What kept me away is the realization that I don't deserve to be treated like shit. No one does. Throughout our relationship I kept making excuses for his actions, and maybe those actions were understandable to some degree but the repercussions they had on me were not. It was, in a way, an abusive relationship that I was enabling. I kept coming back for more, when in reality I should have walked away. I know most of this is probably things you've heard before, but I hope my experiences help anyways :)P.S. Sorry for deleting my last comment, I just realized that I really don't want to be naming names.

  8. Ahem. Let me rewrite some of this for you. ".. and he got pissed off, which just seemed ridiculous to me because I had given him several breaks for girls he'd already more than kissed. I started thinking about cutting it off with him so I talked it over with my good friends, as I am prone to do. Of course, one of our mutual friends couldn't keep her mouth shut. From what I remember, he got upset that I didn't talk to him about it first, which was kind of the final nail in the coffin."It's so hard to keep track of what I've written in these tiny boxes!

  9. Oh no, I completely understand. :)And thanks a bunch for hearing me out and giving me some perspective from another girl who's gone through the same thing I have! Hopefully I'll be able to work things out for myself in the end. I gotta relearn to stand on my own two feet, I guess. :)Haha, no wonder I follow this blog so much! :DThanks again!-Julia

  10. Glad I could share. I've noticed that getting through a crisis in your life is all about realizing you're not alone. And yep, what goes around always comes around, even if we have to help it out a bit ;)Thanks for being an awesome reader!!

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